Sand and Stone

A college friend ever emailed me this story. I would like share it with you.

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

"Today my best friend slapped me in the face."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

"Today my best friend saved my life."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,

"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand, where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

Learn to write your hurts in the sand and to carve your benefits in stone.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Do not value the things you have in your life, but value who you have in your life!

(Author unknown)

Love Others as Yourself

When I was at graduate school, I lived close to a nice girl Andrea and her fiancé (They lived in separate units because they are Christians). Andrea ever said to me, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. It is from Bible.” It was the first time I heard this line and I was much moved. They ever helped me a lot and their kindness is still bringing me warm feelings.

Confucius advocates people to love others, too, but the love should start from caring one’s parents and family. The ancient sage Mengzi said: “Take care of our own parents, as well as the other elders; take care of our own children, as well as the other youngsters.” When you have little to share, take good care of yourself and your family; when you are wealthy and successful, lend a hand to as many people as you can. If everyone can love and respect their own family and relatives, and extend this kind of love to the other people, how beautiful this world will be!

First and foremost, we have to love ourselves, have a positive self-image, take good care of our body, mind and spirit, and maintain inner harmony and peace within ourselves. Love ourselves first; with peace, joy and inner strength, we can have power and capability to love others.

Naturally, we can return love to whoever has shown love to us, such as, our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and so on. Also, we should love our neighbors before they show love to us, and we can extend our love and concern to the entire human kind, including our enemy. Everyone deserves happiness; no one should be suffering.

If we don’t want to be judged harshly, we should not judge the others harshly; if we want to be loved, we have to give love; if we want to live in a world full of beauty and kindness, we have to have beauty and kindness in our heart and then spread them out. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you, for things go around shall come around.

It requires more strength to love than to hate. Love can be developed. Treat others as you want to be treated. Feel thankful for what we receive from the other people, the earth and the universe.

Beautiful Moments

Life is composed of a sequence of moments, passing by as flowers come out and then wither, as fallen leaves float in the wind, as raindrops knock crisply on the roof.

Time flies, we can’t stop it and we can’t change it. Some moment is beautiful, some is imperfect, and some is unforgettable.

When I was little, I liked to chase dragonflies along a stream in the twilight. Set against the burning sun, the bodies of dragonflies were golden and shiny, the transparent wings silky and delicate. I caught one dragonfly, held in hands, and then set it free, watching it fly against the inflamed sky. It is a beautiful moment.

The second year in graduate school, we had a Spring Festival Evening Party. My lovely neighbor Andrea drove me to the Hall. When we sat down, a student board member came to me, said, “You look so elegant. The president of University came to the party today. I think she needs help to understand the performance. Can you go to her table as a translator?” I didn’t talk too much, but I remember that moment is beautiful.

After nine months’ pregnancy, and twelve hours’ induced labor pain, my little boy William was delivered. He was cute and wet, crouching on my chest. I kissed his little fingers and noticed his fingers were slim and long as mine. He stretched his hands to me, letting me kiss him more, what a beautiful moment!

Life is a process. If we can enjoy and cherish every beautiful moment, life will be a collection of poems. Even in the hard time, we still can find something small and subtle to fill our soul.

The Breadth of Mind

“Not refusing any tiny soil and pebble, the Tai Mountain towers into the sky; collecting all the small streams, the rivers and oceans become deep and wide.” – Li Si (280 -208 BC), Qin Dynasty.

All flowers compete in splendor, so we can enjoy a beautiful spring. The sea leniently accepts all rivers flowing into it, so it has its awe-inspiring magnificence. A country can take all kinds of talents into good use, so people can benefit from its prosperity and greatness.

When we are narrow-minded, we are easily fettered by anger, prejudice and hatred. If we see through the world with colored glasses, we can never really know its true nature. A prejudiced person will bind himself up with his prejudice; a biased person will be harmed by his partial view.

If everything follows the same pattern, the world may be dull and boring. Different people can live together in harmony with mutual understanding and mutual respect. Different cultures can take in the good thoughts and philosophy from the other cultures.

When people are harsh or the culture is abusive, we can develop a callous heart and a standoffish attitude. If we stand on the mountaintop, we can see far. If we uplift our soul, we will know we can forgive anybody.

It requires wisdom to open your heart and broaden your mind. The wiser a person is, the broader his mind. We can broad our mind and enrich our soul by doing the following:

Be nice to people. You don’t know that there may be a small war inside everyone. A hateful person can be in his troubled time. Use your smile to warm them up.

Learn different cultures and beliefs. Don’t behave like a frog at the bottom of a well – only able to see the little patch of sky above. We can expand our vision by selectively learning from the other people and cultures.

Be tolerant of opinions different from one’s own. People have different family backgrounds, personal experiences, cultural customs and social economic situations. If you think from their points of view and try to walk in their shoes, they may be right.

Be liberal to an opponent. An opponent, whether his perspective is correct or wrong, will provide you some valuable viewpoints, so that you can improve yourself and do better. Looking back, you will find you benefit more from your opponents than your friends.

Be open to new experiences and ways of thinking. Don’t stereotype yourself. There is always a new way of thinking. Even the greatest inventor Addison can resist the idea of alternative current.

Lifelong learning. During this fast-paced information age, if you don’t improve yourself and learn something new everyday, you fall behind. If we open our heart, we can learn something useful from almost everybody.

Being Honest is the Best Policy

I read this article “Honestly, All of Us Are Liars” from the Trump Blog. Mr. Trump thinks if you’ve lied, you are normal because lying is so second-nature to people. This blog post aroused a lot of comments:

“You can lie for good, like tell a sick people that his condition is better, for motivation. But never lie into something that risks your integrity.”


“I was taught telling the truth paid off in the end. Moreover lying is an infinite risk against time management.”


“Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture, lies, romance or conjure up fantasies are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them.”


“Because lying is such acceptable behavior, and expected by so many, it really puts those who tell the truth - more often than not, at a terrible disadvantage in so many cases.”


“Personally, I prefer to be as honest as I can, and direct too. It simplifies life and usually saves time. I also prefer like-minded displays of integrity.”

Glad to see that most readers think that honesty is the best policy. Lying can benefit you in a short time, but being honest pays off in a long run. Sometimes people lie with good intention, sometimes for survival, sometimes for personal benefit, sometimes to cover their mistakes. Lies can ruin the liars’ name and cause big trouble.

For example, a girl ever did something that she didn’t want the other people know. Unluckily, another girl happened to witness it, but she was educated not to say bad things behind people’s back and had no intention to tell anyone. However, to protect herself, the first girl spread evil rumors about the second girl. Until some boys came to the second girl, “What bad things did that woman do? She needs to badmouth you crazily like that to cover it. If you know, please tell us.” The second girl fought back, both of their reputation was ruined. Being emotionally fragile, the second girl’s school life was ruined. If people can’t make good judgment, lying can go wild, because people are attracted to bad fantasy.

Even professionals can lie. Due to financial stress, a married woman got serious heartburn and threw up often; she went to see a doctor, who prescribed her some medicine to control her throw up problem. After two years, the woman went to see the doctor. The doctor checked her profile, and asked,

“How was your heartburn going? Did the medicine work well?”

The woman replied, “Not sure. I stopped taking it. After a while, I found I was pregnant.”

The doctor seemed nervous, “How is your child doing?”

“He is doing very well.”

As the next time she visited the doctor, the doctor asked her if she had some kind of disease. She said no, but the doctor insisted that she had. After she returned home and looked up the dictionary, she found it is a kind of sexual disease she never had.

The woman suffered heartburn for a long time and there was quite a gap between the date of visiting and her conception, so she didn’t think the doctor made misjudgment at the first time. Sometimes people choose to strike first to cover their possible mistakes.

When people lie and slander the others, I always doubt their intention. The liars and slanderers look more suspicious than the slandered. In some culture, lying is a serious sin; historically, some lies caused wars, destroyed kingdoms and cost millions of life. So I think US legal system is right, some kind of lies and rumors should be stopped at the beginning with legal action.

God is always keeping the records. You can never tell malicious lies about others to go ahead; you can never slander others without being ruined. Being honest with self; being honest with others. To live in freedom and peace, being honest is always the best policy.

The Bilingual Brain

During the last year at graduate school, a delicate young lady lived across the door to my room. At late night and early morning, I heard that she read aloud in a language I didn’t understand at all. One evening, I knocked her door open, asking her why I could not understand her English a little bit.

She said, “I am a Doctorate candidate for Medicine. There are a lot of long difficult Biological and Medical terms and abstract academic content to memorize. I am almost 30, unable to memorize things easily in a foreign language, so I translate them into my native language Romanian first, recite over again to commit to memory, and then I can learn and remember them in English.” I looked at her textbooks, scared by all the hard long words. I guess she spent twice more time than an average student did.

During some sleepless nights, I heard she read loudly and drearily in Romanian, feeling frustrated and bored by school life. I believed I could never get a Ph.D.

Actually, I also had trouble thinking clearly and memorizing text in English during my school years. I felt my native language flew freely from my right brain, but English was stuck in my left brain broken into vague pieces.

The human brain functions complexly. If our mind is in the clouds, we still can muddle along with our study and work in our native language. However, it requires more mental energy, focus and inner peace to think, memorize and analyze in a foreign language. If there is no harmony inside us, it is very hard for us to study and work efficiently with a second language.

According to a research, bilingual people have an advantage: the structure of the human brain is altered by the experience of acquiring a second language - the bilingual brain develops more densely, giving it an advantage in various abilities and skills.

Some US researchers theorize that speaking two languages may increase blood and oxygen flow to the brain and keep nerve connections healthy—factors thought to help ward off dementia. Being bilingual may help to keep the brain sharper for longer.

The brain can be thought of as the command centre of the human nervous system. The more we stimulate our brain with thinking activities and movement the more it will reward us. How well we nourish our brain determine how well our brain functions. We have to eat right and sleep sound to maintain our vigor, vitality and creativity at a high level.

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I don't remember the lady's name, but she ever told me she could speak several European languages a little, such as French, German and Czech. She is more than bilingual. And her parents passed away.